


then i tell myself (this is the last time)

by jaehyoons97



Series: Don’t worry, there’s nothing to be afraid of [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rise of the Guardians Fusion, Angst, Jack Frost!Taeyong, M/M, Rise of the Guardians (2012) References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 10:33:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehyoons97/pseuds/jaehyoons97
Summary: His eyelids droop to a close, feeling a piquant sting on his taste buds sprint up to his head in lightning speed as he chews on his lucky charms.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a trash for rotg and I have this idea in which Mark gets brain freeze each time he kisses Jack Frost!Taeyong.

Mark tucks his hands back under his armpits as soon as he sets down the spoon back on the bowl. His eyelids droop to a close, feeling a piquant sting on his taste buds sprint up to his head in lightning speed as he chews on his lucky charms.

"I told you to warm up the milk first," his mother laughs, brushing his hair back into place with her fingers as she passes by, sliding cups of hot tea on the table for the rest of the family to battle the cold morning.

Mark just smiles; he would rather have brain freeze at every mouthful instead of having to consume a- gross- warm, soggy bowl of cereal.

"I made doenjang soup and you're eating cereal? The disrespect," Donghyuk retorts from across the island and Mark wonders when will his aunt and uncle come back from their anniversary vacation and pick up his whiny cousin. It's been almost a week.

"I'll eat his portion," his mother says, impressed at Donghyuk's cooking skill and pours herself a bowl. "Mark always eats cereal for breakfast."

Half true. He also dunks fruits or crushed graham cookies into the milk if they run out of cereal.

"But it's winter," Donghyuk squints his eyes, more concerned than judging, at Mark's bowl: there are some bits of ice flakes- frozen milk- amidst the pool of marshmallow and oat pieces. "It's soup season."

"Always," Mark's father chuckles, patting Donghyuk's shoulder to assure that it's nothing personal.

Mark swallows down another scoop and welcomes the familiar sting.

Always.

\---

“Shouldn’t you be asleep at this hour?"

Mark looks up from his notebook and finds Taeyong sitting on the window pane above Mark's study desk, one leg bent up to prop his chin. His white hair disheveled; it's a windy night.

"It's inspiration hour," Mark reasons, stretching his arms above his head and hears his spine crack.

“That explains the blank page," Taeyong teases, grinning when Mark immediately closes his notebook. 

Taeyong leaps and lands on his bed, leaning his staff against the headboard.

"It's not as easy as it looks," Mark says.

"Or maybe you just lack creativity."

"Says the guy who's worn the same sweater for two thousand years."

"Three hundred years.  _And_ I changed."

Mark leans back on his chair and turns his head; Taeyong is wearing the new jumper Mark bought him (“I've been wearing the same outfit for more than three centuries, I don't think fashion is any important to me at this point” “Just wear it okay, I found it and I thought of you” “You thought of me?” “ ..No”) and grinning fondly. He briefly wonders if this is how he looked like at sixteen when Taeyong told him he was cute, but shakes off the thought immediately. He probably looked like a pathetic midget with mushroom hair and a forehead full of acnes, or in other words: _disgusting_.

In other, more precise words: Taeyong is definitely cuter.

“Come here,” Taeyong reaches out his hands and Mark leaves his desk, naturally finding his way into Taeyong's open arms like he belongs there.

(Mark tries not to think about how small his twin bed has become for two people.)

“Your dark circles are getting worse,” Taeyong says after a while- after examining Mark's face for an eternal, devastating minute Mark thinks his heart is going to burst from that intent gaze.

His fingers slide up hesitantly to touch Mark's face- always hesitant, even when Mark's told him he's accustomed to the cold now. They trace the dip under Mark's eyes and the space between his eyebrows closes an inch at each stroke.

“You're taller now too,” Taeyong adds. His hands goes down to Mark's shoulders. “And broader here.”

_You're growing up_ , Mark can almost hear Taeyong say, although he doesn't mention it.

Mark takes Taeyong's hands from his shoulders and holds them in his, drawing circles on the knuckles and studying the lines on his palms. ”Donghyuk said I still look like a deer in a headlight except there's no headlight and my eyes are the ones gaping like a fish instead of my mouth.”

Taeyong is known for his ice-manipulating power but Mark has been wondering if maybe he's capable of the opposite element too. Like causing the heat across Mark's face for example, or melting Mark's heart with just a small laugh.

Maybe Taeyong is even capable of mind-controlling because Mark is only thinking about kissing Taeyong when he is already leaning in.

It's definitely not their first time. The way their breaths stop simultaneously before their mouths fit together, and the particular tilt of their heads- it's been a while, but Mark is used to it- can elaborate the process every time.

First; the sudden chill seeping through his lips.

(Mark reckons that's the outcome of swallowing the gasps of the winter spirit.)

Then; Taeyong's cold lips, pressing back against his firmly, more certain and confident and Mark’s heart races from excitement. His walls breaks. He would claim for dominance and Mark would let him.

Next; the sting. That dull sting- emerging from his palate, up to the roof of his mouth and dashing swiftly, alarmingly to his brain.

Any normal people- normal people who aren’t blessed with the heart and mind to believe that Jack Frost is not merely a myth- would find the sting unpleasant, and try to get rid of the discomfort. But instead, Mark pulls Taeyong closer, deepens the kiss that he always longs for, and seeks for more of that soreness because that’s the only way to tell himself that  _this_ is real.

That they can and are allowed to feel.

To love.

Unfortunately Mark is the only one who thinks so.

“You know we can’t,” Taeyong says- like he always responds with- when he pulls away. As if he wasn't kissing Mark back just as vigorously a minute ago.

They go through this every year. And each year, Taeyong remains unconvinced. Because Mark is, by Taeyong’s reason, one of the many children whom Taeyong is supposed to guard. Not someone he should romantically pursue.

“Hyung, I’m not a kid anymore. I’m turning eighteen this year.”

“Which is  _why_ you should probably stop calling me ‘hyung’. I’m sixteen.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’ve been calling you that for years.”

“Well you've grown—“

Mark tightens his jaw; Taeyong’s face twists at his unfinished statement.

_Mark has grown up_.

It’s an unavoidable fact. Unavoidable fate.

Mark understands now that no matter how much they try to bend the possibilities, nothing right will ever come out of it.

He reaches for Taeyong's hand, feeling it shake from realization and he prays to the moon.

_Taeil-hyung_ , Taeyong once told him about the Man in the Moon.  _He’s a strange one. Always observing, never interfering. He listens to the hope and dreams of the children and if you’re lucky, he’ll grant yours._

Mark only ever believes in the Easter Bunny, or  _Doyoung_ as Taeyong calls, and the spirit of winter. His parents ruined his trust in Santa Claus when he found the receipt of his Christmas gift when he was eight. And his mother never lets him hide his baby teeth under his pillow because she thinks it’s repulsive.

He’s never heard of or ever believed in  _Moon_ Taeil before Taeyong told him. But maybe it’s not too late.

“This year is the last,” Taeyong says. His voice breaks and Mark’s heart shatters. “We can’t see each other anymore once you turn eighteen.”

Mark cups Taeyong’s face and kisses him again.

Again.

And again.

“I will still believe in you, hyung,” Mark assures.

At the first sight of tears, Mark presses another kiss. Longer this time,  and bruising as if to imprint the shape of his lips on Taeyong’s mind- it won’t last even a year but hopefully it’ll help Taeyong remember. 

Even if someday Mark won’t anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> To explain: Jack Frost or in this case, Taeyong, is a guardian of childhood. So once Mark turns eighteen, which marks (no pun intended) the start of his adulthood, they wouldn't be able to interact with each other anymore. But of course that's just my theory as I can't recall if there's any official explanation from William Joyce about whether the guardians of childhood protect adults too or not.
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/jaehyoons97) so you can inspire me with some prompts


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